Mourning In New England In The 1600's

New England headstones often bore an extravagance of symbols. Some had ' Father Time, skeletal death, holding his fatal dart, snuffing out the candle of life.'
Some had a sphere that probably signified the soul, borne by birds.
Some had the Resurrection carved into the stone.

Strangely, funerals were the merriest communal occasions in the northern colonies. The Puritans severely limited their social activities. Perhaps for that reason, and because death was such a familiar event in early New England, celebrating it was a natural defense.

In 1683, after two of his four children had died, Edward Taylor could still write:
"Christ would in glory have a flower, choice,
prime and having choice, I chose this, my branch forth brought, Lord take it.
I thank thee thou takest ought of mine, it is my pledge in glory."

In another poem, addressed to death, Taylor said, "Why camest thou then so slowly?
Mend thy pace.
They slowness me ddetains from Christ's bright face.
Although thy terrors rise to the highest degree,
I am still where I was.
A fig for thee!"

Death inspired other strange flights of fancy in the form of puns, anagrams and verses.
The 19th century historian Alice Morse Earle lamented:
"They seemed to reserve for those gloomy tributes their sole attempt at facetiouness."

The pithiest were carved on headstones. Most were sweet:
'Tears cannot restore her,
Therefore do I weep.'

Some of the quirkier were not:
'Here lies as silent as clay Miss Arabella Young,
Who on the 21st of May 1771 began to hold her tongue.'

'Here lies the body of Obadiah Wilkinson and his wife Ruth.
Their warfare is accomplished.'

Or...

'He that was sweet to my repose,
Now is become a stink under my nose.'

Early Puritans shunned a funeral service as 'papist,,' but they made up for it with a prolonged party at the home of the deceased.

Neighbors often supplied and cooked the food, but the bereaved family was expected to pay for the mourning drinks.

Since the drinking sometimes started the night before the burial and went on long after it, that cost constituted a severe hardshiip for some families.

Earle noted the relatively modest funeral expenses for a man, drowned in 1687:

'Buy a pint of liquor for those who dived for him.
Buy a quart of liquor for those who bro't him home.
Buy two quarts of wine and one gallon of cyder to jury of inquest.
Buy eight gallons and three quarts of wine for the funeral.
Buy barrel of cyder for funeral.
Buy one coffin and windering sheet'

The strong young men who carried the coffin to the grave, and their dignified elders who held the black or purple velvet pall over them and their burden, returned from the grave to find generous portions of gin and New England rum awaiting them. With such relaxants available, townspeople could converse freely and doubtless indulged in an unwonted laugh, and did a little trading as they wished Godspeed to the departed one.

Gradually, funerals became more elaborate, and new expenses overshadowed catering costs.

Gloves, originally believed to keep the spirit of the deceased from entering one's body, were presented to mourners.

Samuel Sewall notes many such gifts in diary entries:
'Went to the funeral of Mrs. Sprague, being invited by a good pair of gloves.'

At the funeral of Andrew Faneuil, a record breaking three thousand pairs of gloves were distributed. The quality of gloves a mourner received depended on his status and relationship to the dead person.

Social lions found themselves with more pairs than they could wear in a lifetime, such as a Rev. Eliot in Boston, who had received more than 2,900 pairs of gloves. He and others supplemented their income by selling the surplus.

Funeral fervor grew apace, and by the late 18th century, long processions of people and horses draped in mourning paraphernalia followed the corpse to its resting place.
For their participation, friends were awarded gold funeral rings, signifying a marriage of the body and soul.
They were decorated with deathly symbols and bore such legends as:

'Prepared be,
To follow me.'

One-fifth of Waitstill Winthrops estate was spent on his funeral and its accounterments.

In the face of such excesses, a reaction set in against the spectacles.

In 1741, Massachusetts enacted a law that little could be given away at a funeral, including rum, 'upon the penalty of 50 pounds.'